Some say that Islay malts are an acquired taste, which may be true, but they're definitely worth a go to see what you think. The most common, which you can also buy overseas, is Laphroaig (pronounced 'La-FROYG'. Also worth checking out are Talisker and Bunnahabhain (pronounced 'Boona-HA-v'n'). If you find yourself getting right into the gentle art of whisky tasting, you might consider getting hold of the 'Guide to Scotch Malt Whisky', which is written by someone who I believe is one of, if not the leading world authority on Scotch Malts, Michael Jackson. (I know what you're thinking, and the answer's no, it's not the same guy!)
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The 'capital' of the Highlands. North of Inverness, you're getting into really wild and totally excellent uncharted territory inhabited by only the hardiest of creatures such as the fabled 'Wild Haggis'. The Haggis is an animal famed as the only animal on Earth that has its left hand legs shorter than the other two. It's this way because it has evolved to easily run round the steep slopes of Scotland's mountains without leaning over. Unfortunately, this brilliant piece of evolutionary design has one major flaw: it allows the ravenously hungry human inhabitants of the area to catch the animal easily. What the hunters do is to make vast quantities of noise and threatening gestures at it (it's timid and a little stupid). The animal's natural instinct is to run away, and off it goes, running anticlockwise round the mountain as fast as its rather unusual legs will take it. The hunters simply turn around and start heading round the mountain the other way. Eventually, they meet up with the haggis again, which is still tearing round the mountainside at a rate of knots trying to escape its imagined pursuit. When the haggis sees the hunters, it is astounded and very, very confused. In its confusion, it tries to turn tail and flee back round the other way. Unfortunately (and this is the haggis's downfall), its legs are not designed for going clockwise round a mountain and it promptly falls over, thus allowing the band of ravenous hunters to catch it easily, take it home, and whack it in the microwave for a few minutes till it's done.
North of Inverness, you will also find that the ease of getting from A to B diminishes rather quickly as well. There is an excellent road called the A9 which travels most of the length of the country. You can horse along quite happily at 90mph most of the way up to Inverness (unless you get caught by a police Jaguar, that is!) You will definitely have to ease off a little on the old gas pedal if you decide to follow the road any further, however. As the saying goes 'it twists and turns like a twisty-turny thing'. You can also catch a very zippy British Rail Intercity 125 train all the way up to Inverness. Go any further, though, and you will experience a little piece of railway history in the form of the oldest and most rattly carriages that BR have to offer. Wonderful. Please understand that I'm not trying to put you off venturing further north. If you're anything like me you'll find the extra effort well worthwhile.
Anyway, I can't tell you about any particularly exciting things to do in Inverness, but it's a good place to fill your tank up with petrol and go to the supermarket and fill any empty spaces in your car with food, beer, etc. Not a vast metropolis, but it's the Bright Lights of the City for many people who live up here, and the monthly shopping trip to Inverness is a real event.
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A Mecca for individuals who want to set especially unusual and particularly useless records. The longest distance between any two points on the mainland of the UK is between John O' Groats and Land's End, which is at the bottom-left bit of England. The record for walking between the two points is broken from time to time, but nobody pays much attention to that. It is much too run-of-the-mill. If you really want to get the attention of the Great British Public, you've got to get from one to the other in a really unusual way. For instance, if you hop on one leg from John O' Groats to Land's End, blindfolded, wearing a Kermit the Frog costume, and singing I Did It My Way for the entire length of the journey without pausing to take another breath, THEN you stand a small chance of making it onto the National News.
John O' Groats is one of those places which sports a large signpost with lots of different signs telling you how many miles it is, for example, to Rio de Janeiro. So if you need to know, it's the place to go...
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A girlfriend and I once decided as a sort of mutual dare to see what it would be like to go swimming in the North Sea in February. I would like, dear reader, to pass on the morsels of wisdom I gained from this experience to you. Probably the first adjective which comes to mind, perhaps rather predictably, is cold. The next thirty-four adjectives which follow are also cold. In fact, for some reason the word cold really sticks in my mind when I cast it back to that particular day. If you decide to follow in our footsteps and swim here too, the principal thing to remember is that there is absolutely no way you can walk into a cold sea slowly. And this applies in summer too - the North Sea never gets particularly warm. If you try it you'll find that it's more or less bearable until you get to the top of your legs. This is the point at which you've got to make the decision to either chicken out altogether, or do what you should have done in the first place: just dive straight in at one go! The very best method of successfully coercing your body to let you put it in a cold sea is to take a run at it from some way up the beach, and keep going! As the famous saying goes:
'It's lovely once you're in.'
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You may have seen a passing reference to this area in a book somewhere, but if you haven't heard of England don't worry. Its main use is as a sort of land bridge from the rest of Europe to Scotland. [grin!]
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The Rec.Travel Library
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